“Are you guys here already?” Breathing heavily on the phone, I just successful jumped over the wall of the house and ran to the corner house. I never thought I would sneak out of home after ten pm but hey I’m eighteen and it’s time to bend the rules, like being gay wasn’t bad enough.
My close friends know that I am gay already but I am not feminine, I love keeping to myself and just get along with anyone who is cool but as for my family, no. I am raised in a very religious household were my dad is an important figure in the church we attend, it would be a shame to come out because I would be tainting his image and stature, but that didn’t matter tonight, what mattered is that I’m going to have fun with my friends and probably get a number.
“So, how long are you planning to sit in a corner whilst looking at your friends having fun?” I see this 6.1-foot figure approaching me from behind. I was panicking because I have social anxiety that makes me unable to talk with anyone plus I am not openly gay, straight guys make me nervous.
“Well, I tagged along basically just to drink and watch over my friends, like a guardian plus they, know with me they are safe from doing stupid things” Okay am I over talking? He seemed curious and laughed he proceeded to talk
“So, are you from around or?”
“No, I’m from Glenvista and you?”
“Springs but currently living in Southdale”
“So why what are we doing in Northcliff, when there are great spots in the south?” I can’t believe I said that out loud. He looked puzzled.
“We, I guess we like going out and exploring a different vibe,” he said we? We not friends like that. I kept on signally to my friend Buyisa to come get this guy away from me because I’m uncomfortable, she couldn’t pay attention to me, she is definitely having fun with her man.
“So, you don’t like small talk I guess?” who me, yeah because I’m nervous and I don’t know what straight guys talk about at a party.
“Uhm, I don’t talk to strangers so stranger danger” he laughed
“Really, at your age, stranger danger?? Are you always this funny awkward with new people?”
“I guess you can say that.” He introduced himself
“I’m Tshepang you are?”
“Michael but my traditional name is Sizwe” we had a handshake, finally one of my friends came to save me and Dino couldn’t have come at an appropriate time.
“Mikey, who is your friend here?”
“Dino this is Tshepang, Tshepang this is Dino”
“Awe, listen I want you to keep my Cheri Naledi, I have to check on baby on the phone you know what to do.” I nodded before I could say my goodbye.
“Hey since you going to be a seat warmer, I’m inside the house, upstairs where there is beer-pong. So, when you done, we can hang out” oh okay that’s overwhelming but I cracked a smile, we parted ways only to meet up an hour later when me and my friends Decided to move into the house, once again he approached me and Dino eyes alerted me to be aware.
“You finally here, beer-pong ended a couple of mins ago.” What does this guy want??!
“No, I’m cool” Signally to others to come here and rescue me
“Why do you keep doing that?”
“Signaling for help, I’m not going to kidnap you I just want to know you because you seem like a cool person, it won’t hurt to know others, but let me leave I don’t want to bother you.” Okay now I feel like a douchebag, I guess I was too harsh on the guy. Dino came to me after Tshepang left.
“So, are you going to apologize to the guy or you going to sit here and drink and don’t give me the I’m scared of talking to people story, I think he wants to know you” Does he really? I mean I wouldn’t mind knowing someone else besides my friends. So, I went around the house looking for him ended with no luck, I went back to Dino asked if he has seen him he told me to check where all the cars are parked and my luck was with me, he was sitting in a car with people drinking, I tapped on the glass window.
“Sho, Ngifuna uSynmaan bathi lana ukhona, ngine R20” I looked to see if they bought the story and he co-operated
“Ja, I do have weed but let’s not deal with such around people, go to the boot.” His friends were asking him about weed since he admitted he said he only has two bags, so they will use the one bag for the oka-pipe, I went to the boot, he followed.
“So, you smoke weed?”
“No, but I wanted to come and apologize for my behaviour I really didn’t mean to be rude, I just fail in social skills.”
He smiled, he accepted my apology, he gave a bag to his friends and we went back to the house, we found a room that was quiet, and we got to talking, I shared my life story and eventually came out to him and he took it well, I thought I was going to be judged however he was more than accommodating. He is 23 years old, he is third year studying chemistry at UJ and he is a wildcard. After a while, a search party looking for me began and a random person saw us and told me that people are looking for me.
“Well, I guess it’s time for me to go jump the wall and enter through my bedroom window.”
“I forgot you are teen and this is a stage” he laughed after saying that.
“Fok-Off, it’s nice meeting you though, hope to meet you again?” Dino found me, he was close to pulling me away.
“I’ll just drive around Winchester hills looking for you honey, see you soon dear.” He gave me his beaded bracelet and said I’ll give him when we meet.
“Well, you know Cinderella it’s past midnight and your carriage has to take you back home” I looked at Dino and laughed.
“Sizwe got a man, uyakhula nana”
“Fok-off nawe, I don’t have a man, he is just a friend and we were getting to know more of each other.” For the rest of the ride back home, it was questions from all my friends about Tshepang and I to which I still emphasize we are just friends, nothing more nothing less.
It’s Sunday and I was already woken up at 6 am by my younger siblings, service starts at eight am and ends at ten am from then its church committees that parents attend whilst I go to youth meeting, the only highlight of youth meeting is seeing my church friend Angie, we sit at the back and talk about everything, we have been friends since kids and even when our parents tried to make sure we become a couple, we both knew it wouldn’t work out, we love each other like siblings. She told about her relationship problems and her plans for mid-term break, I told her about my meet up with Tshepang.
“Gurl, inumber at least?”
“Nix girl and no picture even, but he gave this” I showed her the bracelet
“Mmmh, chesa wena, moving on up, aren’t you. Wena Chomi I’m happy for you phela usaqala ukujola thina singama ngakara, I basically have the memo guide for relationships”
“Okay Lecturer Ang, well I just hope to meet him soon because I’d like to know him more”
“You better not see him as a boyfriend, he is a friend. DO NOT CROSS THE LINE” I don’t think I will, I mean I just like his company and talking to someone. After church, we go back home to a cooked Sunday meal and my father forcing me to watch Supersport soccer and rugby because “that’s what men do on Sundays” I hardly play sports, I only do track just to please my parents and keep the cover of being a straight person.
“My boy, you need to play real men sports not this athletic nonsense you do. I think you can play soccer like me, you have skills I’m sure and you’ll be able to pick up more girls” here we go with the girls talk.
“So, are you and Angie still just friends or have moved up.”
“We still friends nothing more.”
“I don’t get it at my age I was a ladies man, I had girls falling all over me but that changed when I met your mother” Sure dad.
“And this school play? What nonsense is that? Why are you wasting your time in a play, man do not do plays”
“Well, I’m not a man yet, I’m still a boy and acting is fun really” he gave me a side look
“So, who is your matric dance date, anyone you fancy?” oh so this is why we having this conversation. My matric dance is in September, I’m not looking forward to it really but my friends have convinced me to come because we are going to some lodge for the weekend
“Buyisa is my date.”
“Buyisa, that friend of yours, the loose girl?”
“I thought church people do not judge people for who they are? So, are you judging her because of her past? She is still a child, growing and learning from her mistakes”
“You not taking that loose girl as your date, she is too loose and I don’t want you to catch anything”
I got up the sofa and went outside. I can’t stand my father sometimes, he looks for ways to anger me, I decided to walk all the way to Dino’s place and we sat outside smoking Stuyvesant and talking. Dino is really one of my good guy friends.
“Wanna go blom by spar?”
“Ja let’s go”
We walked all the way to spar and bought a 2L cool drink then went to the tennis courts.
“So, no word from your friend?”
“Nope, I have not seen him. Maybe it’s not meant to be friends”
“Well as so long as you don’t replace or forget me because I was here first.”
“And I’m grateful for that.” I looked into his eyes after saying that. He patted my hands and said it’s a pleasure. We just looked at each other and was silent. My boner kicked in and it became visible.